1 Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your wrath.
2 Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint;
heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.
3 My soul is in deep anguish.
How long, Lord, how long?
4 Turn, Lord, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.
5 Among the dead no one proclaims your name.
Who praises you from the grave?
6 I am worn out from my groaning.
All night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
7 My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
they fail because of all my foes.
8 Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the Lord has heard my weeping.
9 The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;
the Lord accepts my prayer.
10 All my enemies will be overwhelmed with shame and anguish;
they will turn back and suddenly be put to shame.
Technically I suffer from a chronic illness – hypothyroidism. My thyroid doesn’t make enough of the hormones it is supposed to. It’s pretty common, and mine is well managed with a little daily pill, so I often forget I fall into this chronic condition category. The biggest impact this has had on my life was interfering with fertility when we were first starting to get pregnant. But starting that little daily pill (it’s very little – like a tenth the size of a Tylenol) fixed that. I have dry skin, get cold easily, and get tired a lot – which are all signs of the disease, but I don’t know if I can fully attribute those symptoms to it. I also live in a house with a wood stove (which sucks the moisture out of the air), a drafty house (which would explain the chills), and have two small children (and what parent isn’t tired?). If I feel I’m even more tired than normal, I get some blood work done to see if I need to up my dosage of Levothyroxine and that’s that.
Other chronic diseases that people close to me are living through every day include diabetes (type I and II), PCOS, endometriosis (I actually know several people with this supposedly rare disease), depression, a “benign” brain tumor, transplant recipients (fun fact: you’re on immuno-suppressants basically the rest of your life when you get an organ), rheumatoid arthritis, several people with hip replacements, and musculo-skeletal pain from things like slipped discs and something akin to tennis elbow. I bet if you sat down and made a list, you have a lot of people in your life suffering through chronic conditions, too.
According to the National Health Council, 40% of Americans suffer chronic disease. That’s 133 million people. And 81 million of those people suffer from multiple conditions. This doesn’t even count the un-diagnosed or under-diagnosed people that are out there, and might not count things like organ donor recipients – it’s hard to tell. I also don’t know if it counts pregnant people or people with disabilities like amputees – so that number is probably much, much higher.
But does society at large have mercy on the faint? Do we hear those who call out in anguish, “how long, how long?” Outrageous prescription costs, limited accessibility accommodations, and judgmental attitudes show that we don’t. It is easy to forget the suffering of others, especially when you are healthy yourself, especially when so many of these conditions are invisible. Here’s just a few examples of some of the indignities and injustices people with chronic conditions have to suffer through:
- Individuals requiring a wheelchair often have no option except to go for hours without it during air travel. This may not seem like a big deal at first, since you’re just sitting, but that means no going to the bathroom, which also isn’t wheelchair accessible, and it means being completely reliant upon airline/airport employees for your mobility in and out of your seat and plane.
- Chronically ill people are not “so lucky” because they “get to just sit there.” Sitting allows them to handle debilitating pain for longer. I’ve never had fibromyalgia or arthritis or any other chronic pain condition like that – but I did have very prominent and painful varicose veins during both my pregnancies that compression leggings couldn’t fully control. My legs were throbbing my last trimesters, all the time, and I had to sit down often. Unfortunately sitting down isn’t a magic cure, it just makes pain more manageable. But some people seem to think pain disappears when you sit down, and then you’re able to indulge all your lazy desires. If. Only.
- People still think illness or disability is due to karma, sin, or some other morally-linked reason, and often say so to the ill or disabled person. I’m not saying God doesn’t have the power to inflict illness of any sort on people, I just don’t think that’s really high on Xyr list of things to do. I’ve already mentioned the blog I stumbled across that said Autistic children (like my own beautiful daughter) are possessed by the devil because their parents are sinners. Paralympic swimmer Karni Liddell even had a 2013 #hearditwhilstdisabled campaign to bring attention to all the hurtful things people say. That’s right, this woman is an Olympic swimmer, something my able-bodied self will never be, and still hears this bullshit.
It is a small gesture, but let me take a moment to offer a blessing to all those suffering with a chronic condition. You are not a cautionary tale nor an inspiration for able-bodied people, you are a human being whom God loves and are worthy of both our respect and Xyr blessing, so God bless you. The Lord has heard your weeping. May all those who never took your pain seriously, who denied your worth, who stood in your way be overwhelmed with shame and anguish, may they turn back suddenly and be put to shame. I pray you find peace and fulfillment in your life, and that God’s blessings are ever present. I pray that government, health care, and society at large change their policies and attitudes towards those with chronic conditions, and I vow to advocate for that change with you. God bless you. Amen.